Excuse the cringey title but we've all seen it before. Someone drops a dramatic PM or makes a public post saying, "I'm leaving this community" or "I'm done here, goodbye." for whatever their reasoning may be. How do you handle it when it happens in your community?

 

Do you:

• Ignore it?
  
• Respond with a polite "Wish you well"?
  
• Ask them why they’re leaving to see if you can fix something?
  
• Secretly celebrate if they were kind of a pain anyway? 🙃
  

There’s no one-size-fits-all answer, but it can be tricky to balance keeping your community healthy while not letting things turn into a drama fest.

 

So what’s your go-to approach when someone makes one of these “farewell” announcements?

People do this in Facebook groups and I just say cya usually :p

I don't really see this often on forums anymore, but I would just tell them that I wish them the best of luck and move on. I remember joining forums in the past and they had a rule that stated not to make these types of threads. People still made them at times lol.

I'll probably trash the topic if they start flaming the forum or the users. But if it's just a general goodbye, I'll probably wish them well.

It happens. Some people leave and want to say goodbye. That's fine. Some others are hoping to cause a bit of a stir when they leave.

 

I usually reply with something short and honest like "Sorry to see you go, take care" and keep it simple. It's their choice, after all. As Cory said, if it turns into flaming, the topic will be either locked or removed.

It depends on the person/situation, but I won't let it hang out like dirty laundry.

I used to get this on my football forum quite regularly actually. Usually, it would involve a member being trolled by some others because their team had lost, so getting upset they decide the forum is terrible and they're leaving. The vast majority of time, they'd post a thread, "leave", come back a couple days later, and then get further trolled in their "I'm quitting!" thread for coming back... they still didn't seem to learn. :LOL:

 

We had a pretty popular off-topic section of the forum at this time, so I was pretty fine with letting people post these threads there... they'd be either requesting mods to delete them pretty quick, or they'd fall off the first page within a day or two at the most after their "exit".

 

For smaller forums, it's probably important to not let these kinds of threads air out as "dirty laundry", as CTS said above. It probably looks quite unappealing to potential new members to see people leaving and doing it "publicly" going out dropping a bomb.

On the other hand, you can get into a weird situation where such a member doesn’t announce their departure, they just go, and then you get posts of the form “whatever happened to…?” Which can be almost as bad.

On the other hand, you can get into a weird situation where such a member doesn’t announce their departure, they just go, and then you get posts of the form “whatever happened to…?” Which can be almost as bad.

 

That's a very good point, but also, at least in my own experience, I generally find that the type/kind of member that'll post a "departure thread" is probably the kind of member you'd "know" just had enough of the forum and decided to quit, if you were curious... if that kind of makes sense. (it does in my head!)

 

Of course, there are exceptions - some people might want to announce they're leaving due to a personal situation or crisis in their personal life, and they may just genuinely want the friends/acquaintances they made on that forum to know that they're well but need time away... these kinds of cases seem to be a lot less common than the "I'm not happy with something that happened here, so I'm leaving" kind of threads, though.

That's a very good point, but also, at least in my own experience, I generally find that the type/kind of member that'll post a "departure thread" is probably the kind of member you'd "know" just had enough of the forum and decided to quit, if you were curious... if that kind of makes sense. (it does in my head!)

 

Of course, there are exceptions - some people might want to announce they're leaving due to a personal situation or crisis in their personal life, and they may just genuinely want the friends/acquaintances they made on that forum to know that they're well but need time away... these kinds of cases seem to be a lot less common than the "I'm not happy with something that happened here, so I'm leaving" kind of threads, though.

Yup, the “I’m sorry I need to leave because things have happened” is fairly rare, my experience is that these people either PM folks, or disappear and then announce the return.

 

The flouncing kind, though, that’s sadly common.

People do this in Facebook groups and I just say cya usually :p

 

I do the same, it's annoying if you're going to leave just leave your not popular here. :cool:

I do the same, it's annoying if you're going to leave just leave your not popular here. :cool:

They'll usually stay just to see what people comment with :p

Had a user on my first forum that would post a long goodbye thread. He'd read all the replies as a guest thinking no one knew it was him even though he said he would never return. One of the mods moved his thread into the staff forum. A week later he was back. Then a few weeks later he'd post another long goodbye.

 

This went on for a few years until one of the other admins got tired of it and banned him.

If they're being dramatic and are a problem member, I'll delete their goodbye post and put them in post moderation. If they continue to be a brat, then I'll give them the boot.

 

If they're leaving on good terms and they wish to say bye to the community, I'm okay with it.

 

I think forums are at-will so I'm not going to get in a hurry to try to get them to stay. I'll let them make up their minds.

C. Ask them why they’re leaving to see if you can fix something is what i would do.

If someone is announcing his/her departure from the community, I think there are two major reasons, one, he is a attention seeker, and two, he is very angry and want to vent out anger. In both case I will just ignore it (if I am the owner of the community). Why give airs to this kind of stupidity. If you want to leave, just leave there is no need to create a drama.

If someone is announcing his/her departure from the community, I think there are two major reasons, one, he is a attention seeker, and two, he is very angry and want to vent out anger. In both case I will just ignore it (if I am the owner of the community). Why give airs to this kind of stupidity. If you want to leave, just leave there is no need to create a drama.

Attention is most likely what i grasped at.

two, he is very angry and want to vent out anger. In both case I will just ignore it (if I am the owner of the community). Why give airs to this kind of stupidity.

Consider that there may be a legitimate, relevant reason for the anger. It is not wise to unilaterally dismiss it without considering if you can learn something actionable from it.

I would definitely wish them well and thank them for being a part of the community. If the thread starts to be more of a drama type post or they are being disrespectful or calling people names then I would definitely delete the thread. However, if it was just a farewell post or them letting the forum know that they will no longer be posting then I would allow it.

What if members are going to be away for awhile but plan to return? If they publicly announce they're leaving my forum. I'll probably leave the post open unless they're completely trashing the forum.

Edited January 8Jan 8 by Bawse

If someone is announcing his/her departure from the community, I think there are two major reasons, one, he is a attention seeker, and two, he is very angry and want to vent out anger. In both case I will just ignore it (if I am the owner of the community). Why give airs to this kind of stupidity. If you want to leave, just leave there is no need to create a drama.

Most of the time, it’s either attention-seeking behavior or disappointment over a decision or event on the forum. However, it’s usually best to address their concerns, ask what’s wrong, and see if the issue can be resolved.

I think it’s a case by case basis. I value exit feedback but will also not respond if it’s an obvious attempt to continue drama.

Excuse the cringey title but we've all seen it before. Someone drops a dramatic PM or makes a public post saying, "I'm leaving this community" or "I'm done here, goodbye." for whatever their reasoning may be. How do you handle it when it happens in your community?

 

Do you:

• Ignore it?
  
• Respond with a polite "Wish you well"?
  
• Ask them why they’re leaving to see if you can fix something?
  
• Secretly celebrate if they were kind of a pain anyway? 🙃
  

There’s no one-size-fits-all answer, but it can be tricky to balance keeping your community healthy while not letting things turn into a drama fest.

 

So what’s your go-to approach when someone makes one of these “farewell” announcements?

It honestly depends who the user is. If they have a past history of saying that then saying "I changed my mind" then obviously I am not going to entertain them lol. I just wait for them to change their mind again, don't reply, and laugh when they do make the post. I actually had this happen recently where someone said this. I call these kind of threads "click bait".. LMFAO

 

For someone who is a pain in the ass and there really isn't nothing we can do unless they violate the rules, I might just feel happy for the moderation side of my forum as they have to deal with 'em.

 

However, if someone who has been here for some time and has been actively involved, I would definitely leave a kind message to show my appreciation of their dedication to the forum.