Moderation What’s the best way to deal with negative behavior from members?

[Cedric]

No matter how well-moderated or positive your community is, there will always be times when negative behavior pops up. Whether it’s arguments, trolling, or just plain negativity, how you handle it can make or break the atmosphere in your community. But finding the right balance between addressing issues and maintaining a welcoming environment isn’t always easy.

Consider these questions:

• How do you handle negative behavior without escalating the situation or alienating members?
• What’s your approach to warnings, bans, or timeouts? When do you think it’s necessary to step in?
• Are there proactive steps you can take to prevent negativity from gaining a foothold in the first place?
• How can you promote a culture of respect and positivity, even when disagreements arise?

Dealing with negative behavior is never fun, but it’s part of the role of running a community. Let’s talk about the best ways to address it while keeping the vibe of the community intact.

 

[Cpvr]

The best way to handle negative members is to approach them with kindness and understanding initially. Address their concerns calmly and give them a chance to adjust their behavior.



However, if a member continues to spread negativity despite 2-3 warnings, it’s important to take decisive action to protect the community. At that point, removing them from the community might be the best option to maintain a positive and welcoming environment for everyone else.

 

[Shawn Gossman]

I go to PM and explain to them that constant negativity is a guideline violation. I'll explain why to them. I'm nice about it. I don't even say that I'll ban if they continue. I just hope they get the picture.

If they keep it up, I'll take action.

Mitigate a toxic forum at all costs.

 

[Arantor]

Two methods.

1) Normalise the behaviour you want to see. In any population people will naturally gravitate towards what is normal and expected. This is because we are a social species at heart and we want to conform by default: we want to belong. If it’s very clear that undesired behaviour is an exception, people will naturally avoid it, and they will even go out of their way to call it out for what it is. In an ideal world this can even be largely self policing.

2) particularly if you have the early adopter enthusiast crowd vs a laggard, curmudgeon crowd, love bomb the early adopters. They’ll bring the laggards with them.


Whatever you do, do not normalise that toxicity is acceptable. Give it boundaries and make it clear what is and is not acceptable. Gentle taps on the shoulder, ideally from your community steering it for you (as above), then time outs, then banning. Going immediately to Defcon 3 isn’t ideal either - because sometimes you just have a person having a bad day or a bad week and you might find this is lashing out because they can’t cope.

I also find it can work that if I do reach out to someone, my question isn’t “why did you do that” but “are you OK, you seem upset about x” and go for getting their side of it - really it’s just an application of my first two points: normalising the notion that acting out is, just that, acting out rather than an ingrained pattern of behaviour.

 

[Bryn]

Give them a public scolding, and if I have to take it private. Increase their warn level and if they persist on being a dick, they get banned.

Thankfully, I've not had to do that for years...

 

[Shawn Gossman]

I really try to take care of it as quickly as possible. I figure the sooner it's off your forum, the better chance your forum will survive that little mishap and you set an example of being fast to act on BS.

 

[Bawse]

I had a member tell me to go "fuck myself" on my forum. You can't please everybody, but I try to make sure my community is welcoming to new members. Negative members will be warned, and maybe banned depending on the situation. I might give them a temporary ban for a "X" amount of days for them to calm down.

 

[Arantor]

Apparently just deleting posts is the answer, if you’re the XF team.

 

[Cedric]

Apparently just deleting posts is the answer, if you’re the XF team.

Paul does that a lot. His attitude towards clients is often questionable. Even when you need support through their official channels.

 

[Arantor]

I also learned that I’m partially moderated on the site as I can’t edit my signature. But no one has actually talked to me, I’ve had several posts deleted (some without even a reason or notification) and no warning or courtesy message.

You’d think that when you have a customer who’s been paying on and off (mostly on) for 14 years (if nothing else thah at times because I believed in what they were doing) that that would be worth something but I guess they don’t want my renewal.